Ginny and the HP Parody
by the olympian girl
Summary: My first fic. what started as a normal day at school, turned into the adventure of a lifetime. Ginny's having a hard day- she's being throttled by fanfic characters. r&r M for later chapters.


My first Fanfic! Tell me what you think!

* * *

Ginny Weasley was walking down the halls with bit of a bounce in her step. Today was probably going to be the biggest, most exciting day of her life. Today was the day she was going to prove that she was not a little girl anymore. She was going to prove to her brother that she was not his little innocent sister anymore. She was going to prove to Hermione that she was not a naïve and incompetent 16 year old. Most importantly, she was going to prove to Harry Potter, the boy who lived, that she was not just Ron's little sister who was too shy to say a single word around the great chosen one.

She was the new and improved Ginevra Weasley and she was going to win Harry's heart.

She walked into the great hall (A/N I honestly hope you all know what it looks like. I really don't want to have to go and copy the description from the first book) and over to where her brother was sitting. He was stuffing his face as usual, talking to his friends, and trying to finish his potions homework for his next period. All at the same time. Ew. Of course, whenever Ginny told him it was sickening to watch, he always glared at her and said that it was his way of multi-tasking. He would then proceed with his disgusting actions. Nevertheless, she sat down next to her brother and started up a conversation with him.

"Good Morning Ron," she said, grabbing some sandwiches from the table and starting to eat.

"Gey Dinny. Mow awe gu?" he replied, his mouth full of food. Ginny looked at him, annoyed, and said, "Ron, don't talk with your mouth full, now if you'd please swallow your food?"

Ron scowled, because that was apparently the only expression he could do, apart from "I'm going to rip you're head off" and "Can we panic now?" and "I'm so happy, I can just yell it out to the world!" But because none of his other expressions were appropriate for this situation, he stuck with scowling which was also "I don't like you right now." This expression was quite similar to Harry's "I'm really constipated" look.

But Ron obeyed, and painfully swallowed everything in his mouth. Suddenly, he sat up extremely straight and turned to Ginny with a face she had never seen him use before. His right eyebrow was up and his lips were curled into a very sly smirk. She assumed that this was his "constipated face" but little did she know… this was his "Seductive Stare!!!" or at least, Ron thought it was very seductive. Anyway…

He stared at Ginny with unspoken passion in his eyes. (A/N Yeah, that was a bit cheesy, sorry) Ginny stared back at her brother with obvious confusion in her eyes. She was also a bit disturbed. After a few minutes, she said, "Um, Ron? You okay? You look a little…" "A little what Ginny?" Ron interrupted with an even more seductive smirk and a husky voice, "Oh, Ginny, say it! Say my name again! No Ginny, we can't do this anymore!" Ginny was terrified. She had no idea what the hell her brother was talking about.

"Ron what are you talking ab-," She started to say, only to be cut of once more by her brother.

"Ginny, you know, I was the first one to realize that you weren't a little girl anymore. Last year, that day I saw you working in the garden, taking out the gnomes; that was the first time I saw the real you. The way your hair caught the sunlight, the way those few curly tendrils fell on your face to frame it… you looked like a dream. That was the day it started!"

Ron was wearing yet another unfamiliar expression. Ginny believed it to be "I'm fantasizing right now, let me be in peace."

"Uh, Ron? What are you talking about? You're kinda scaring me…" Ginny replied frantically, but in vain. Ron was looking at her again,

"Ginny," he said huskily, "I need you. But we can't do this! I love Hermione! I have for so long but I can't tell her. She's just too smart and amazing and… She's dating Harry! Behind our backs! She's cheating on me Ginny! Cheating!"

"Ron," Ginny said carefully, "You and Hermione aren't dating. What are you talking about?" Ginny was starting to get seriously freaked out and hoped it was all just a sick joke.

"Of course we're not dating Ginny. Where would you get an idea like that?" Ron looked scandalized.

"Oh Thank god! I was starting to think that you were-"

"Ginny, I'm gay! I'm in love with Harry, we're sleeping together! So are me and Blaise and me and Draco."

"You're sleeping with slytherins?! Ron how could you?! Wait a minute, you're gay?!"

"Yes Ginny, it all happened a year ago, when Harry was helping you take out the gnomes from the garden. The way his hair caught the sunlight, the way those few tendrils fell on his face to frame it… he looked like a dream. That was the day it started!"

'That sounds familiar,' Ginny thought, 'wait a minute, if he's in love with Harry, and they're ~shudder~ sleeping together, then-'

"Ron, if you and Harry are together, then how can you be in love with me? And What about Hermione? And why are you, Malfoy and Zabini having threesomes?"

Ron's look of longing vanished and was replaced by yet another new expression, "The evil, sinister stare."

"Ginny, you can't tell anyone, but I'm not who you think I am. If you tell anyone, I will have to kill you. I'm James Bond."

"Who?"

"I'm just kidding! You should have seen the look on your face! Priceless."

"Ron, what-"

"I'm not James Bond, I'm a spy for the Dark Lord," he said casually.

Ginny stopped, blinked, then glared.

"Ron, if this is all some sick joke, I swear I will castrate you with a plastic spoon!"

"No, seriously Ginny, here's my dark mark." Ron pulled up his sleeve to reveal… nothing. Just his arm. Clean as a whistle. No tattoos, no scars, no blemishes. Nothing.

Ginny looked up from the arm at her brother. She slowly raised her clenched fist and punched his shoulder as hard as she possibly could.

"OWWWWW!" Ron yelled out in pain. "What the hell was that for?"

Ginny looked at her brother incredulously. "Ron! You sick bastard! You tell me that you're sleeping with slytherins, spying for the dark lord and then you lie about the dark mark? You, you, prat!" Ginny yelled in a hushed tone. If that made sense. She wanted to yell at him, but realized that if she did, people would start looking. Which they were already doing after she punched her lovely brother.

"Ginny, I haven't gotten the dark mark! Are you insane? " he whispered.

Ginny looked pissed off. "I know, you idiot. You just proved that!"

"I won't get the mark until after I kill Harry. I have to prove myself of course."

"What the hell! You're really working for the dark lord? Are you mental?" Ginny had momentarily forgotten that she was British so she quickly saved herself by adding a quote from the movie. Which of course, doesn't exist.

"Ginny, I really am a spy, and when I kill Harry, I'll be the all-powerful lord's right hand man! We shall rule the world, enslaving the inferior and killing all who stand in our way! Muhahahahahaha!"

Ron was laughing uncontrollably like a maniac; people were really starting to stare now. Ginny tried in vain to shut her disturbed sibling.

"Ron, Ron shut up, Shut up Ron!" But he wouldn't stop.

"Ginny, you can help me! We can do it together, and we will both be rewarded most handsomely," Ron rubbed is hands together for emphasis, "Who knows what he will give us."

"Ron, I think you should go to the hospital wing. You're not feeling well-" Ginny was now officially freaked out.

"No Ginny, if you won't help me, I have to kill you! You-you know too much! Know this Ginny, I love you- more than you would ever know, but as I said before, we can't be with each other. I mean, what would the children look like?"

"What?"

"Anyway, I will dispose of you, then I shall be reunited with my Draco and Blaize. When we are together, nothing can stop us." Ron momentarily stopped his monologue then burst out laughing. "Muhahahahahahahahah! We will be victorious Ginny! Fear us, Fear us-" Ron was cut of by the silver dish that hit his face. Ginny couldn't think of anything else that would shut him up.

Ginny quickly threw the tray on the floor and ran out of the great hall. She ran as fast as she could until she reached the greenhouse where she had her herbology classes. As she panted, desperately trying to breathe, she heard a voice in the trees.

"Hello, Ginny." Ginny looked around, momentarily forgetting to breathe.

"Who's there?"

"I just love the way you pant Ginny," the voice said again.

Ginny was getting scared. "Sh-show yourself!"

A figure emerged from the shadows. It slowly sauntered into the sunlight, revealing its identity.

"Hello… Ginevra," He said huskily.

"Harry?"

* * *

A/N So there it is, first chapter, please review! i really want to know how I'm doing. If you don't like it, please tell me, I'd like to know what I can improve. A few tips would be nice too!


End file.
